SELF PARODY

...he was a broken man with a broken hand...

Dance With the Devil Now

(All songs are written by Winston Campbell, Jr. except where specified)

---

a love song


how can anyone not want to write songs about you?
why would anyone want to walk here without you?
i've held your hand
and i'm not sure you'll understand

you're wearing red
and it's filling my head
with visions i shouldn't
oh, you know i couldn't
your pants are two inches too short
and i would know
because you told me so

after all these arguments
after all the stress
after all these smiles
after all this time
why would anyone want to walk here without you?
why would anyone not want to write this song about you?
			

---

someone's in the database


dance with the devil now
don't you feel cold
why you so disheveled now
what you been told
stuck into the levels now
with nowhere to go
what you been thinking
starts to get old
tapping on the water now
it gets your knees
soft blushy pulpy now
stuck in gravy
tube top shaking
now shake it off again
dance with the devil now
like you did when

have to solve this
got to get it right
i want to promise
keep my query tight

dance with the devil now
don't you feel cold
why you feel disheveled now
what you been told
stuck to the levels now
nowhere to go
what you been thinking
starts to get old
tapping on this water now
it's got your knees
soft blushy pulpy now
stuck in gravy
tube top shaking
now shake it off again
dance with the devil now
like you did when

have to solve this
got to get it right
i want to promise
keep my query tight
i want to solve this
get on the table
i have to promise
constrain this view

dance with the devil now
dance with the devil now
dance with the devil now

why you don't notice that someone's in the database?
why you don't notice that someone's in the database?

dance with the devil now
don't you feel cold
why you so disheveled now
what you been told
stuck into the levels now
nowhere to go
what you been thinking
starts to get sold
tapping on the water now
it gets your knees
soft pushly pulpy now
stuck in gravy
tube top shaking
now shake it off again
dance with the devil now
like you did when

have to solve this
got to get it right
i want to promise
keep my query tight

dance with the devil now
don't you feel cold
why you so disheveled now
what you been told
stuck to the levels now
with nowhere to go
what you been thinking
starts to get old
tapping on the water now
it gets your knees
soft blushy pulpy now
stuck in gravy
tube top shaking
now shake it off again
dance with the devil now
like you did when

why you don't notice that someone's in the database?
why you don't notice that someone's in the database?
why?
why?
why?

come dance with me
let's have a big party
come dance with me
let's have a big party
someone's coming here
someone's going there
come dance with me
let's have a big party
office party
office party
office party
office party
office office office party
everyone get down
everyone get down
every every every
everyone get down
			

---

un tit led


woman
you got some great tats
woman
shave your arm pats

caregivers come
and caregivers go
and where they're cared for
nobody knows

woman
make me some grats
woman
with your oversized tats

butchers come
and butchers go
and where they're butchered
nobody knows

woman
you've now gotten yourself the shats
woman
what it has is what it gats

balls do come
and shafts do go
and where they're balled
everybody knows

they said my name was fred
but they thought i was dead
and they put me in the morgue
and made me a cyborg
now i'm back in the past
you know i can last
just make this fast
yeah... don't pass that ghast

woman
you got a left tat
woman
want to get in your slat

creases come
and creases go
and where they're entered
god only knows

if only i wasn't so lonely
if only i wasn't so lonely
if only i wasn't so lonely
if lonely i wasn't so only

oriental is a bad word for an asian person
oriental is a bad word for an asian person
oriental is a bad word for an asian person
			

---

you turn me on and you turn me down


well, it's a long way
from the cameras in my mind
no i can't find my senses
no i can't find the time

well, it's a long way
from the cameras in your mind
no i can't find you clearly
but i can feel your smile

well, it's been mighty grand
my feet won't hit the ground
well you turn me on
and you turn me down

well, it's a long way
from the cameras to your mind
no i can't find your senses
but i do have the time

you turn me on and you turn me down
you turn me on

well, you have been great
and you have been kind
filling out the paths
to the cameras in your mind

but it's a long way
your feet just hit the ground
and i can turn you on
and i won't turn you down

i won't cross this bridge
not without you i won't

you turn me on and you turn me down
you turn me on and you turn me down
you turn me on

well, it's a long way
from the cameras of my mind
well i can't find my senses
and i can't find the time

well, it's a long way
to the cameras in your mind
no i can't see you clearly
but i do love your smile
well it's been mighty grand
to grip and hold your hand
my feet won't hit the ground
when you turn me on and you turn me down
			

---

i feel hollow


i can sit here thinking
with my mind's eye blinking
wondering what's the next move
when to dance the next groove

and i'm out of my mind
and there's nothing i can do
and with my mind's eye blinking
i sit here thinking

will a thought ever pass your mind?
will my face ever cloud your eye?
and it's so hard to swallow
i feel hollow
i feel hollow

i won't fit the skin
of which happy people are in
but that is not my fault
because there's no happy people at all

we're all here spinning
and writhing out of control
and there's no comfort in this
but i want comfort in you

will this thought ever pass your mind?
will my face ever cloud your eye?
you know me, i wallow in it
because it feels so hollow

and i am out of my mind
and i am out of my skin
right now i can't move
right now i can't think
can't feel
can't see
can't watch
what this world has to offer
i'm always late
always late getting it
what this world has to offer
i don't get it

and it's tough for me to swallow
when i don't want to follow
and despite what you say
deep inside i feel hollow
i feel hollow

i feel hollow
i feel hollow
i feel so hollow
i feel hollow
i feel hollow
			

---

he used to fold five, now he folds none


put it in
don't take it out
you can stroke it
if you find out how
you can deflate it
and insulate it
we can make it
no, we will make it

i have outted you
you have entered me
you have made my heart
whole again

he used to fold a five
now he folds a one
he used to fold a five
now he folds a none

take it in
and push it out
turn it a little
and make it pout
it's all left from here
there's no right in there
take it deep
let it put you to sleep

and what's there to see
nothing at all
something at all
i have outted you
you have entered me

put it in
don't take it out
you can stroke it
if you find out how
it's all left from here
there's no right in here
take it deep
take it

i have outted you
you have entered me
i love babe
i just have to say...

he used to fold a five
now he folds a none
he used to fold a five
now he folds a one
			

---

dee's got obboies


get the jams out
get your head out
you don't know no way out
you got no way in

get the jams out
turn the corner
the ole' man eye
you don't know why

you don't know why you got me in a jam

don't know mine
you've got my heart on
you madden me

get the jam out
take no prisoners
you're brown eyed
oh...

dee's got obboies
dee's got obboies

hang her!
hang her!
hang her!
hang her!
hang up!

get the jams out
take no prisoners
there's no way out
you think you've got it now

dee's got obboies
dee's got obboies

you're coming
you're coming
take no prisoner
you're coming
you're coming
you're coming
take no prisoners
you're coming

dee's...

dee's got obboies
			

---

perky percival pig


perky percival pig
he wore a yellow wig
his friends came around
threw his wig to the ground
and laughed cause his head was so big
			
(karen m. hahn)

---

i am bored out of my fucking mind


i am bored out of my fucking mind
i am bored out of my gorge
and this is what i do in my free time
i will write a song for you
telling you i am bored
out of my fucking mind

and it's raining outside
there is nowhere to go
my wife, she's at work
and here i am
writing this song
cause i am bored
out of my fucking mind

would you meet me
no you won't meet me
and this is why i'm sitting here singing this poorly
i am trying to make this a better day
but i am bored
out of my fucking mind

i am bored out of my fucking mind
			

---

mouth never opens wide


it's three o'clock
she's on meds
she don't trust her head
a light in her window
makes her forget
that they're waiting outside
and she needs to be ready
she swallows her pride
says "bring on suicide"

brash up and complete
mind fails and depletes
why would she cheat
why would she leave us

and my mouth never opens wide
my mouth is always closed

it's five o'clock
she's distressed
will she clean up her mess
the light in her window
makes her forget

and she prays for the rain
she prays for the pain
the pain to stop
but she won't beat the clock

and my mouth never opens wide
my mouth never opens up

and my mouth never opens wide
my mouth never opens up

it's three o'clock
she's on meds
she don't trust her head
a light in her window
makes her forget
that he's waiting outside
she wants to be his bride
but then there's her pride
dreaming up suicide
and a friend i was
and a friend i am
and i'll meet her later
in her far off places

and my mouth never opens wide
my mouth never opens up
			

---

she has a rip in the back of her pants


no one told her
no one showed her
we all just stared
and then compared

bobby tried to look
sylvia tried to peek
but when you've got an employee handbook
you've got to be careful
you know

alfred attempted a pencil in
and buffy tried to stencil in
but both were unsuccesful
now they're not here anymore

we all dug the curve
the shimmy and shake
the way it moved
the way it grooved
but we can't look anymore
cause it's not there anymore

a crease never wants to die
a crease never wants to be sewn
but the worst is when it's thrown away
like rotten fruit
in one of those salvation army booths

she comes in later
with another pair
and in sara's eye
is a tear

poor bobby wants to cry
oooh

bobby wants to cry
sylvia needs to die
what we used to want to touch
has faded away into the dust

and there will be no more glares
and there will be no more stares
and it has to be this way
because we are all decent human beings
at least we know we are
at least we think we are

we are
we are
we are decent human beings
we are
we are
we are decent human beings
			

---

a sigh


you call my name
i'm not the same
you turn me down
you think i'm a rogue
well i'm not your friend
and i do believe

oh
a sigh, a sigh, a sigh
is all we got now
(when you coming down)
a sigh, a sigh, a sigh
is all we got
(when you coming around)
a sigh, a sigh, a sigh
is all we got
(when you coming down)
a sigh, a sigh, a sigh

you turn me down
you call my phone
and i'm not alone
and i'm not alone
you turn my head
you think i'll regret it

it's a sigh, a sigh, a sigh
(when you coming down)
you doubt, you doubt, you doubt
(when you coming around)
a sigh, a sigh, a sigh
(when you coming down)
you doubting now on yourself

wear those genes a while
wear those genes, wear those genes a while
wear those genes, those genes a while
wear those genes
those genes

and i'm going out on the road
you prick and i'm a hole
you are a friend
you are my friend
let's get together
if the law allows us

a sigh, a sigh, a sigh
a sigh, a sigh
a sigh, a sigh, a sigh
a sigh, a sigh, a sigh
you will regret it
a sigh, a sigh, a sigh

oh you go down
oh you go down
oh we go down now
hey oh we go down now
oh, woe we go down now
hey oh you go down now
oh, woe we go down now
hey oh we go down now...
			

---

stop looking at me


you ask me if i'm okay
and i'm not quite sure what to say
because whatever i tell you
won't really sink in
and you'll say the same response you always say
and we really won't go anywhere

and if i try to tell you things
you will not want to listen
because they're not what you want to hear
and i don't think you'll really care

either way it makes me sad
because that's who i am
that's why i'm telling you right now
stop looking at me
just turn away
when you really have nothing to say
you really have nothing to say
and maybe it's better this way
because it doesn't waste your breath
it gives you a few more years

don't waste your breath on me
stop looking at me
just walk away
you don't care
i know it
and you show it

let go of it
i tell myself
let go of it
and it's not that easy
but like you
i have to tell myself
let go of it
			

---

you will be my dolly, holly

(instrumental)

---

don't fuck, ever


(george w. bush speech set to soothing, relaxing music)
			
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