SELF PARODY

...i believe in nothing because i don't have to...

Our Favourite Karen

(All songs are written by Winston Campbell, Jr. except where specified)

---

the grey never leaves but sometimes it blends into a shadow


there is no way out
there is no way out
there is no way out of here
there is no way
there is no way

grey is the day i stay away from here
the leaves blow in the pattern
of like leaves blowing before
i touch the man that eats the sandwich
he gives me a look of approval
like i need a look of approval

grey is the day we stay away
there is no way out of this place

there is no way out
there is no way out
there is no way out of here
there is no way
there is no way

if you take the hand of the woman
she will let it go
grey is the day i stand before you
lying on my own crepulance and deceit
this is not how it's supposed to go
this is how it ends

leave it alone...
leave it alone...
(there is no way)

there is no way out of here
			

---

auburn red


self-deprecating
quick in relating
she is waiting
time is not so kind
she's conversating
mind's masturbating
these thoughts are degrading
after all this time

eyes open up
mouth won't shut up

quick at equating
patience abating
she is waiting
years fall like tears
she's innovating
her eyes so sedating
and i am relating
it's just what i wear

eyes fall down
auburn hair on the ground
			

---

there was a girl and bingo was his name


there was a girl
and bingo was his name
and she came to this place
said "i am a girl"
"just look at my face"
tears fall in shame

but all along the line
we never found the time to completely understand

i saw him there
she never said a word
bingo is exposing her dick
says "i am her dick"
"just look at my veins"
"i'm fraught with nothing but stains"

but oh how we turned
and never could learn and would always look the other way

there was this girl
and bingo was his name
and she stayed at this place
she said "i am a girl"
that's all she would say
head would fall to shame

and all along the line
we never found the time to completely understand
			

---

vitamin man


vitamin man
vitamin man
karen smells so good
yet you smell so bad
vitamin man
vitamin man
you're in my state
leave while you can

oh my goodness gracious
so fat and curvacious
it's pretty funny some say
be my main man today

vitamin man
vitamin man
remember your place
while you can
vitamin man
vitamin man
work in this garden
if you can

we don't need your cheap labor
my name is pat le-savor
it's terrible how you rhyme
please speak english all of the time

vitamin man
vitamin man
karen smells so good
yet you bathe in spam
spit and grime
vitamin slime
no i'm not racist
i just don't like your faces

oh my goodness gracious
so plump and curvacious
no hablo ingles'es
there's so many places
just not here
just not here
go over there
just not here
			
(winston j. campbell, jr. and karen m. hahn)

---

haren kahn

(instrumental)

---

hey little bear


hey little bear
what you gonna do today
everyone's waiting for you to come outside
everyone says it's really okay
and they look at you with your eyes all flushed
looking at what you've done
you say you need someone that'll make you blush
someone who will feed you all the fast fun

and how does it feel to want
when you need somebody that bad
how does it feel to need
when you want someone that bad

i know the reason you cry
you say it so long
and you're looking at me like you're almost lit
shaking and shivering, causing a fit
and sometimes when i hold your hand
you seem to be so far away
and when i sit with you, you always stand
do you like me? it's really okay

and how does it feel to want
when you need somebody that bad
how does it feel to need
when you want someone that bad

look at yourself in the mirror
look at yourself up close
look at yourself through your living past
go on and on, your height
and take it down

there lives the bear
it's time to open your eyes
i think you know that it's all been said
i think your truth covers up your lies
and maybe today i'll come right over
kiss your sullen cheeks
but you play dead most of the time
so i don't see the point why you always should weep

and how does it feel to want
when you need somebody that bad
how does it feel to need
how does it feel
how does it feel
			

---

faggot dance


c'mon now boys
come sing and dance
this is the faggot dance
a dance when you're smoking your cigarette

yeah, the old time boys went down to the lake
we used to put logs on the fire 
and talk stories 'bout the lake
there was this boy there called mr. pai mei
he used to play the flute by the riverside
we didn't question him
'cause he killed one of us
it was kind of tragic the way it went
you know

down by the river we lit up the cigarettes 
and smoked our lungs away
our hearts slowed down a bit like the beat of this song
a couple measures ago
yeah, we tried to exist with the confines of our own selves
the way we conducted ourselves
the way we conducted ourselves
the way we conducted our lives

playing the song
we tried to substantiate our own existence
through the means of circumstance
you see
it's not really clear who we try to be
it's who we are
and that's all we can ever be
i don't know if it's making any sense
but while you're pondering the situation
why don't you come down to the lake
come dance with us
smoke a pipe
and dig this faggot dance

yeah, faggot in the sense of smoking cigarettes
yeah
			

---

a monocle is going to get you karen


she wears not the color
of the shirt i am wearing today
she's eating not the sandwich
of the sandwich i am eating today
she smiles yes the smile
that will hurt me yet again today
her lips with moan and her mind will weep
but a monocle knows and a monocle reaps

what you sow!

she types not the letters
of the word i am speaking today
she'll laugh but then she'll choke
on these innuendos thrown today
she was just the one
but then another came by yesterday
now the other's gone
so she's back to being the one again

when i sleep i wake
and my heart it aches
in my bed i shake
oh for heaven's sake
when i sleep i wake
and my heart it breaks

a monocle knows and a monocle reaps
what you sow
a monocle knows and a monocle reaps
what you sow

she wears not the color
of the face i am wearing today
there's yet another error
on the skirt she wore to work yesterday
front side goes up and the back goes aside
made by her sister with such faith and pride
yet it doesn't matter
can't you see she's getting fatter

when i sleep i wake
and my heart it breaks
what my mind mistakes
oh for heaven's sake
when i sleep i wake
and me you can't take

a monocle knows and a monocle reaps
what you sow
a monocle knows and a monocle reaps
what you sow
			

---

i've never been to costa rica and i never will


sighing slowly
passing through you
you don't know me
you can't show me

and i never will
because i am scared
of those things
you know

follow fungi
to the top
and then stop
and think
you've always been here

you've always been there
you're all out of here

you can show me
i think you know me
you're passing through me
and sighing slowly
			

---

tumour ridden arm

(instrumental)

---

mary lynn rajskub


impress upon me
the quick and the zeal
a slight hand appeal
the walk and the feel
impress upon me
with hands of white steel
and give a slight squeeze
with dripping appeal

i left my bag at work
i left home in a rush
just to feel the gush
i don't know you 
but i miss you so much

impress upon you
the thickening glue
the null pointer clue
and a painful adieu
impress upon me
your wit and your zeal
your slight hand appeal
your walk and your feel

i left my bag at work
i left home in a rush
just as it is such
i don't know you
but i would really like to

i left my bag at work
oh, i'm such a jerk
i'm such a jerk
i'm such a jerk...
			

---

starburst flavour


put it in your mouth
and taste that tropical blast
my lungs are failing fast
but i guess you knew that already

starburst flavor
i'm heading into danger
ooh, oooh
starburst flava flav!

swallow the fruit
taste the tropical blend
your neck is going to bend
the wrong way and you're going to die

starburst flavor
such crude behavior
ooh, oooh
starburst flava flav!

it lands in your esophagus
and then to your bowels
there's blood on that towel
don't ask me why but there just is

starburst flavor
you're heading towards danger
ooh, oooh
starburst flava flav!

and you wonder why we have such a karen the world
when we know we're all going to die in the end
and you wonder why we have such a karen the world
when we know much more than you'll ever know...

keep on chewing
yummy yum yummy
fruit blast in my tummy
and in my esophageal!

starburst flavor!
			

---

just stay tuned and you'll see these little balls come down


you haven't been listening
you haven't been paying attention
let me repeat it one more time

you haven't been listening
you haven't been paying attention
let me repeat it one more time

you know
i don't have anyone to talk to
to say anything i want to say
discriminating or not
shy twist or crotch rot

i don't want judgement
i don't want to hear a word
i just want to say
what i want to say
nothing more
nothing less

you may think i'm selfish
you may think i'm childish
you may think i'm not really listening
you may think i'm not paying attention
well, so fucking what

			

---

rot it out

(instrumental)

---

big girls fall hard


lay your worries on me
lay your head on me
rest your worries in deep
it's what i'm here for
take my hand in yours
i'll lead you through this door
and out into the world
a woman once a girl

and big girls fall hard
big girls fall hard
big girls fall hard
they crash to the ground

lay your worries on me
stay a while with me
your fingers put me at peace
when there's nothing to sort out

and big girls fall hard
big girls fall hard
big girls fall hard
they crash to this ground
and big girls fall hard
big girls fall hard
and big girls fall hard
they crash yet make no sound

take my hand in yours
we'll walk outside this door
my heart it skips a beat
for you

for you

			
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