SELF PARODY

...years like tears disappear...

Thyme Versus Monkeh

(All songs are written by Winston Campbell, Jr. except where specified)

---

kids ruin everything


kids, they ruin everything
no matter where they swing
they'll eat your chicken wing
huh huh huh
kids, they ruin everything
they jump up at the sink
and bring down anything
huh huh huh

i think dora is a communist

kids, remind you of yourself
and all of your faults
just tugging at your heart
uh huh huh

tell the map to jump right back

kids, they ruin everything
and nothing all in kind
mess with your fragile mind
all the time
kids, pull at your heart strings
clip off your chicken wings
until it starts to sting
those fuckers

we keep tellin' benny he ain't gettin' any

kids, they think they own the world
big-headed boys and girls
when will they flipping learn
duh duh duh

but maybe dora's just a socialist

kids
god i'm so tired
i am so wired
i am so mired

don't you just wanna love them
don't you just wanna hug 'em
wouldn't your life feel empty without 'em
don't you just wanna free them
don't you just wanna be them
don't you just wanna be the immortal

the love you've known
the one that's grown
since your childhood
has become it's own
sticks and stones
will break your scones
but femur and bone
to be left alone

take my hand and we'll rock this land
we're so young yet we're so old
when you're waking up at the crack of dawn
something's wrong yet someone's right

oh what a delight
the little voices
pairing your dreams
right through the seams
and it's every day
but it's okay
it's okay
it's much better
cause you're a certified go-getter

kids...
kids...
kids...
mmmmm

don't you know that it's only forever

kids, they ruin everything
no matter where they swing
pull at your heart strings
those fuckers

dora, a bonafide, certified communist

don't you just wanna love them
don't you just wanna shove 'em
why you keep thinking of 'em
why you keep thinking of 'em
why do they gotta grow up
why did they just now show up
when the time just doesn't slow up
years like tears

i look in the mirror and i see the eyes
looking back at me almost all this time
and i don't remember when they altered
when the light in them had begun to falter

is this what it's like getting old?
is this what it's like growing mold?
these objects decay and move far away
is this world in ruin and in disarray?

i don't think so
it's time to go, so
she holds my hand
and we step outside
all my pride now
and joy inside her
out in the world
with the little girl
all sun shines through
to now me and you

kids
kids...
			

---

big mountain roof


shifting girls on a big mountain roof
i take my pick of the red-headed stalker
i kick my shoes off and just go dive right in
i don't like the faces, all these boys have been wasted

we dance to the music
and we sing at the sights
and we all hug each other
at the outset of nights
and the cheese in the can
is the cheese in the trash
we're all gonna make it
to that basement to find them

changing guards on a big mountain roof
i call to lucifer, my new england pony
i look at my ribs all untethered and bony
i don't like the looks, all three girls have been shifting

we sing out the songs
and we thrive to the lights
and we live out the protocol
as we go blinding out sights
and the swirl in the faces
of the graph databases
when the pointer is wasted
let's go write to /dev/null

i don't visit this world
i haven't left my home
we do what we have to
when we are in rome
i fit the description
of the low info voter
she said i had abandoned her
but i remembered i wrote her
on the last day
she looked so dismayed
i left her waiting
after all this negating
when i saw her again
wanted to be her friend

but the feeling inside her
had divide her
			

---

fascibating


been waiting in here almost fifty fucking years
sippin' on saliva and some of my dried tears
my belly feels like jelly and there goes my knee
can't keep it all together as my brain starts to flee
waiters and waitresses slipping, passing us by
if i wait any longer some mo'fucka's gonna die
better to be home snackin' on some crackers and cheese
or cookin' on some stove a pot of rice and peas
stab me now
don't ask how
how long must we wait
time is dead
and out of my head
waiting for a dinner fucking plate

martini or tequila or a sweet sour daquery
how'd we end up here at the cheesecake factory
a million people sucking the oxygen out
play a little record so we can all twist and shout
my mouth goes dry as i wade the night sky
from inside a hell-hole of which i'll truly die
some people think i'm being dramatic as all hell
patience is a virtue is all that this asshole can sell
track me down
out of town
i'll strangle your fucking head
pipe my dream
my mind was clean
it's what the other gentlemen said

i can't wait
i can't wait
i can't wait any longer
i can't wait
i can't wait
i can't wait any longer

yeah, yeah nigga
ma'fuckas be waitin' on this shit man
we hungry as all shit ma'fucka
we need to eat ma'fucka
we need to eat

don't ask me how or why or what or when
this glass eyed mo'fucker eyeing me like uncle ben
i needs to calm down before i go on overload
don't stare at me you greasy headed short stink in' toad
pass my by
don't ask why
i might just walk up and leave
waiting sucks
and who gives a fuck
if i walk out and leave

don't fuck with me man or i'll stab you in your jugula
motherfucka, i'll fucking kill ya
out in the world and here i am sweatin in'
this choice of friday night food i now be regrettin'
well i eats the gabagool every mo'fuckin day
hey nigga, what the fuck you wanna say
if i find a priest i fucking make him pray
if i want justice i goes on judge juday

where's my patience?
where's my hatians?
where the fuck am i really at?
inside of my mind losing my time
no more cheesecake factory
no more shitty tasting daqueries
and the portions they give you is a little too large
at least i think so
			

---

don't be so uppity


you go far out in my way

turn off the lights and go turn on this room now
you and me girl and this makes us a baby
maybe just maybe this baby is cra-cra-crazy
and maybe just maybe, you just ain't no lady

stand back
you don't want to get in my face
my face

steal the car keys and get outta that place now
your body it aches there and you gotta take it slow
maybe just maybe the your face is cra-cra-crazy
and maybe just maybe, you so nice and tasty

shut your eyes
close your mouth
we don't want you here anymore

feel me out now and take me right by the hand
we're thrust in this phoenix of god knows what to do
maybe just maybe we find out we cra-cra-crazy
and maybe just maybe, we moving too hasty

maybe some day
maybe some time
you, you will be mine
maybe some way
maybe it's fine
you, you will be mine
so don't be so uppity

press my hand to your face
press my hand
don't

turn off the lights and go turn me on right right now
you and me girl and phil makes us the baby
maybe just maybe phil was the cra-cra-cra-crazy
and maybe just maybe, phil just is too lazy

you walk in line all the time
you don't know where to go
this time

maybe some day
maybe some time
you will be mine
maybe some way
maybe it's fine
you will be mine
so don't be so uppity

when i feel like beating myself off
into the windows and the mirrors
of the birds cherping and sighing slowly
and fawning over the site of my hand
slowing decaying upon the pavement of what we built
into the place we called home and left it all destitute
for the filthy and mendicant and all's fall
fall out of my belly is this piece of you
and never again will i turn my head
and beat myself on to the sound of your thoughts
the sound of your sweet voice
singing that familiar tune 
that brings me closer and closer to home
whenever it feels left out
we accept it and keep it in
because we are nice people
we love our friends
we love our families
but it's hard to love ourselves sometimes
when the daydream turns to night fare
the nightmare of this all
this thing we call human existence
and life as we know it
so short and so fragile
and some people make it hard for us
but we only get stronger
we only get stranger
day in and day out
we get stranger
and beating ourselves off
to the sound of this song
you've known it all along
once down in the hole loathing in self pity
now ascending slowly 
head high and uppity
and uppity
once again
once again

maybe some day
maybe some time
you, you will be mine
			

---

or not


i don't want to fight no more
i don't want to run no more
when it's time to give up
we should just give up
i don't want to scream no more
i don't want to dream no more
this use of double negatives
so often overused
and easily abused
or not

she is saying
i'm doing good
it's you
to tell her otherwise
when she should say
she's doing well
adverb
describes the verb
learn it

i do want to fight some more
I do want to run some more
see, I made this a lot better
now go to sleep
you crazy bed wetter
or not

she is praying
and looking up
it's you
she needs reassurance
captured by the grammar police
i know
least be or not
or not

maybe I will fight some more
maybe I won't try no more
damn, I did it again
now I'm in the league of great awesome men
and great women
or not

she is saying
i'm doing good
it's you
to advise her otherwise
when she should say
i'm doing well
the verb
gets described by the adverb
she should learn it
learn it
learn it
			

---

i am the monkey


picture this, it's the morning time
and i'm wide asleep and don't want to wake up
and the voice of the little girl over and over
and over and over
and in my mind there's some dream state i can't let go of
pulling me back into the lack of consciousness
but the voice mulls around over and over and over again
and the grips lets me go and places me in screeching grasp
and the voice of the little girl
transcends my brain
plainer from the choppy
the waves of transmission overtake the air
and destroy all communication
from the voice and in the monitor
there's the voice
little girls says
i wanna go potty

i am the monkey
i am the monkey man
of which you sing of
that's me, i'm the monkey man

picture this, it's the afternoon
and i'm down on my luck and my nerves are getting stuck
and there are too many things coming all at once
too many circumstances
of which i am at fault
but maybe i really don't want to go to the city
maybe i just don't know what to do
maybe i take out my phone
have a conversation with our favourite karen
while i wait for that voice to every so smoothly say
i wanna go potty

i am the monkey
i am the monkey man
of which you sing of
that's me, i'm the monkey man
now come and grab my hand
and take me to your hairless land
place me in a banana tree
and go ahead, go ahead and leave me
why don't you

picture this, it's the nighttime
and all my anxieties are all gone
and watching this show with my girl on the couch
does anyone ever wander what happened to huell
did he finally realize what was going on
and just where the hell is saul?
just where the hell is saul?
and playing over and over again
as i drop my remote
from my cold dead hands
charlton heston tells me from the grave
i wanna go potty

i am the monkey
i am the monkey man
of which you sing of
that's me, i'm the monkey man
now come and grab my hand
and take me to your hairless land
place me in a banana tree
and go ahead, go ahead and leave me
why don't you
			

---

inbob and manrat


trapped
in a batter of whiskey
manrat turns to inbob
says "i don't see us getting out of this one"
inbob responds
"fear not manrat, a lot of whiskey goes a short way"
manrat drops his head in despair
inbob clutches on in to his hair
two of them begin to stare
into each other's eyes
and all the lies
finally fade away
he knew all along inbob was as happy as gay

manrat
inbob
manrat inbob
manrat inbob manrat inbob

snapped
the locking mechanism
finally broken and pushed aside
inbob reaches up and climbs up the wall
with manrat underneath to catch his fall
inbob smiles when he sees the light
"damn this whiskey into the night!"
manrat stares down
and on the ground
his soul lays heavy
picks up the teddy
inbob's arm reaches down
asks "are you ready?"

manrat
inbob
manrat inbob
manrat inbob manrat inbob

welcome to my palace of doom
surely you didn't think you would get out alive
you've called me shirley for the last time
when all i wanted was the world
was that so much to ask for?
is it too much to feel?
to breathe?
to see?
to be the best of me?

dance from these cages
dance with these strangers
jump and kick the bad guys in their faces
pow and bang and boom and crack
you got the front and i got your back
take me to the rear and pull out your laces
strangle the one who really wanted to waste us
you got the rope and we got the time
run to the outer reach and climb climb climb
got to escape and make it outside
to the beautiful rainbow out in the sky
we'll get him again and we won't waste no time
we'll drug him with qualudes and inject him with wine
when whiskey's gone to waste and i wanna touch your face
we're the best of men and we won't go to waste
we're inbob and manrat
it's the way we were bred
commissioner's gonna call us to try to warn us again

death knows not us today but it may one day born us
inbob, manrat
inbob, manrat
inbob manrat
			

---

you learn the hard way


benghazi
not so snazzy
paparazzi
in benghazi

what's he hiding?
not law-abiding
patriots uniting
and fighting

don't need no heathcare
just let me die here
with my freedom fries
with my freedom fries

tea party
strong and hearty
i just upped the ante
i will shit my pants'y

targeting me
where's the liberty?
it's the irs
well then just go to hell

don't need your healthcare
just let me waste here
with my pride
and my glock nine

you want my guns?
well then come and take 'em
best back away
don't take kindly to gays

trying to redefine
where do you draw the line?
should just be a man and a woman
and maybe a first cousin?

lemme eat my freedom fries
for which many have died
for my freedom fries
yes, my freedom fries

oh,
you waste my time
you stupid friend of mine
you waste my time
i will teach you
i will reach you
you'll be mine
just don't waste my time

government
can kiss my ass
i don't even vote
i just shoot from the throat

you see me in the party
you look in my eyes
you and me brother
won't let freedom die

don't need no health scare
just let me live here
with my freedom fries
yes, my freedom fries

another civil war
is what i'm waiting for
man against gov'ment
don't take my freedom fries

white house turned to black house
what's going on here
shutting my eyes now
time to let it go now

jesus on a pavement
wrote the second amendment
signed the constitution
then ascended to the heavens

oh,
you waste my time
you stupid friend of mine
you waste my time
i will teach you
i will reach you
you'll be mine
just don't waste my time

my freedom fries
my freedom fries
my freedom fries
my freedom fries

hamburger
hot dog
with freedom fries
with ketchup
baseball
and football
american football
with my freedom fries
yes my freedom fries
my freedom fries

i say what i say
i do what i may
i just want my comfort
and my freedom fries
i say what i say
i do as i may
i just want to be loved
from the lady above

get off your welfare
go back to where you came from
don’t steal my freedom fries
cause it’s my freedom fries

we certainly learn the hard way
don't we?
we’re all most certainly stupid
and a giant mess
but i’m so glad
so glad
we’re all still friends
			

---

marie and me


driving out in your special car
the movie wasteland moves afar
our destination up ahead
with care and frustration, the might and the dread
you were borne out into this world
to be my man and i'll be your girl
skinny hands with bony fingers
pointing away at what truly lingers

marie and me
we go driving to see her

stopping at a robert lee diner
wet hair and smile, you've never looked finer
we talk politics and wrinkle faces
on old women bitches and the lives that they've wasted
stronger than me now, you'll live longer than me now
remember these times as i bow out the theater
i love you madly and you just don't believe me
you'll choose the face who'll only deceive you

marie and me
we go cruising in the rain

will you forgive your boyfriend when he slams down the hammer
and he splits your world and sets it on fire
will you forget your mom when she tells you it's time
to pick up her memories and leave it behind

counting stars out in your car
i love you as close as i will ever go far
look at the horizon, see the hills and the stars
the way i is - is the way you are

marie
you're just like me
we make such a good team
let's go get some ice cream
and throw out our dreams
and finally be free
marie
you're just like me
marie
			

---

any hole will do


any hole will do
piece of me to you
look the other way
close your eyes and pray
insertion in the hole
blackens up the soul
piece of me to you
any hole will do

you better
shut up, shut up, shut up, ...

i wanna kiss your face
celebrate your race
and sunday churches too
praise the lord on you

any hole will do
piece of me to you
pray for darkness now
hair and sweat is foul
exertion of the hole
known to take it's towl
catholic or jew
any hole will do

you better
shut up, shut up, shut up, ...

i wanna hold your hand
and take you to the land
of peace and happy thoughts
where all the lovers fought
of sticks and stones and glue
i am so stuck on you
one plus one is two
many holes should do

any hole will do
many holes on you
any hole will do
make more holes in you

any hole will do
piece of you to me
tell me what to see
tell me what you feel
tell me is this real
should i turn the wheel
i wear it all on you
and any hole should do

you better
shut up, shut up, shut up, ...

i'm done with you
many holes did do
i'm so done with you
no longer stuck on you
i'm so sorry now
i'm so sorry how
i wear it all on you
and any hole did do

any hole will do....

any hole will do
piece of me to you
throw your fears away
what more can i say

any hole will do
many holes on you 

any hole will do
it won't ... you
			

---

denise en el hospital


eee-ooooh-aaahhh
eeeeeee....

just because
the cameras roll in
the doctors fall in
weepy hospital
she is waiting
in the hospital
and all this time
and all of this is not fine
in the hospital
denise

push out your fanny
and kick off your shoes
jig in your bed
you've got nothing to lose
when the nurses are fed
and doctors are bred
when the lights are dimmed
i'll sneak right in 

oooh-aaahhhh-eeeee
ohhhhh....

just because
the cameras roll in
the nurses fall in
sleepy hospital
she is waiting
in this hospital
i never did visit
and i kinda felt bad
told her i would
denise

push in your tushy
and put back your head
remember this song
when you think you are dead
but's it all in your head
and it's all in your mind
think of the memories
of all but a better time
denise is my friend
and i am hers too
she picks up my knee
while i put down her shoe
and we twist on the surface
better off than what worse is
when will we leave this place
when will we leave this place
it's a disgrace
a fucking disgrace

a broken head
and a broken torso
does not diminish her worth yo
she no rossclot give a damn
she will juk out the eyes of uncle sam
bwoy she go pon her pride 
she be chillin
she be fine
she be going home 
finally on time

push out your booby
you are truly groovy
no time to poopy
this ain't no movie
my hand on your head
and your head on your pride
together we bitch slap
or we homicide
			

---

bug bite daddy


come gather round children
and i'll sing you a tale
of when the world was darker
and filled with fish scales
mammals under water
fish out on land
lamented by the insane
and revered by the man
there once lived a turtle
a turtle named sam
he'd drink all the kool-aid
to get drunk in the dam
an alcoholic turtle
doomed to repeat
his daily routine
of drink, vomit, and sleep
then came a tortoise
a tortoise in kind
said to turtle sam
"soon you'll be mine"
"give me your kool-aid"
"give me your rhyme"
"i'll be your best friend"
"and then you'll be mine"
then came shark pete
jumping on diamonds
filling his blow hole
with the great howard fineman
said tortoise to pete
"leave now you must!"
"i'll widen your blow hole"
"and rip out your guts!"
so goodbye to shark pete
the tortoise stands the line
turning to back turtle sam
sayin' "bitch, ya gonna be mine"
kool-aid in hand
sam steps to the side
shaking his head
and mourning his pride
then came a bee
buzzing on by
tortoise did howl
"buzz away or you'll die!"
bee turned around
and headed back home
left tortoise and sam
in the desert alone
"why you so crazy?"
asked sam with great zest
"why threaten my friends?"
"why you being such a pest?"
tortoise look down
eyes to the ground
filling the ether and 
not making a sound
quiet he was
seemed like forever
"i just want a friend"
sam snaps back "well never!"
"i drank my kool aid"
"now leave me alone"
tortoise packed up his bags
and headed for home
and so turtle sam
opened another kool aid
quenched his last thirst
then began to fade
slowly but surely
into the landscape
what the hell is this tale
trying to say?
is there a great moral
or was this just a waste time
i don't really care
i just wanted to rhyme
the truth is, children
i am the insane
i am the tortoise
that went home in shame
i am the bee
and i am shark pete
and i've said certain words
i'd hope you’d never repeat
now leave now children
and forget my tale
of when the world was darker
and filled with fish scales
for now
the world now is brighter
and your path is so open
and the love that you’ll feel
has a lot more to be spoken
you're the next generation
our future, our hope
so don't fuck this all up
well...
just don't fuck this all up

love your family
love your friends
but most of all
love yourself
			

---

it almost ten pound ache brain for cut head off keran


how can i disappear forever?
that seems to be the question
look it up in the dictionary
and you won't find me
look me up in the ancient sea scrolls
and you won't find me
cause i'm already gone
and it wasn't even for that long
you turned around to find me
but i was already gone     
i am a man of patience
i am a man of a few words
why would you take advantage of that?
what is your agenda?
i just want to be left alone
vantage point from my home
imploding very discreetly
while disappearing completely

jump on the carcass
and pull out it's eyes
put in his tongue
and you will see a big surprise

i'm not your friend
i'm not your lover
when we look at each other
my brain starts to ache
and my heart slowly breaks
what could have been
is lost in thought
call back the memories
and watch them decay
and fade into the grey
disintegrate so neatly
and disappearing completely

cut up the carcass
and roll up his eyes
little boy and girl
you will see a big surprise

how many times must i say
you won't find me
how many times must i say it
it's not that i don't care about you
it's just that i can't be near you
and watching me ask questions
and figuring out answers
of how i can disappear forever
when you find me
in the dictionary
i'm already gone
because i'm already gone
i'm already 

forget about the carcass
forget about your friend
everybody dies in the end
forgot about the eyes
don't take them home
you won't even know
what this is about

again
my friend
all these men
don't deserve you
the ages
will unearth you
and the stars
will finally birth you
and the heavens
will finally learn you
nothing above you
is how much i love you
			

---

i don't know


she's got style
and she's so fine
she make a neurosurgeon
wanna lose his fracking mind
i won't know

i don't know

man on the roof
looking down at me
i think he wanna flex
why he look so vex?
i don’t know

i don't know

well i got his debt
and he got my credit
if he don't catch me
he'll later regret it

shuffling round my the corner
drinking china tea on lee's audi
forgetting all the words and phrases
tattoeed on my bronzed body
i'm jumping in a janet jack
and fluttering, picking up the slack
as well as you don't know me folks
i'm comma, period, as a matter of fact
i don’t know

i don't know

futzing in the corner, warner
picking up the blues, blues-clues
jacking up my muscles, sammy
well i just don't know

i don't know

jamaican jerkin chicken, licken'
china girl be sticking, sticking
just where the donkadonk is our friend, chicken wicked?

she is so beautiful
everything about her is
she'll drive to wisconsin
and she'll stay with her mother
and she won't even bother
to perform a single selfie to me
to me

and here she comes in coyly
with a nose to smell a mile away
those nostrils are holes
punching through our very souls
jumpin in a jacks
and kicking off the bottom shoes
we all gotta to follow
lock step within these rules
i don’t know

i don't know

trying to find my libido, tito
where's the unicycle, michael?
why you beat your children, joe?
that's why i don't like you

i don't know

sitting in a room
with only you
you make me so happy
oh, your brain is so nappy

she is so beautiful
everything about her is
she'll drive to new jersey
a state she didn't even try to save

i don't know is the moniker of what i'm trying to do this part 
is all of what the hell do you want from me
with all this gumption from stupid politicians
and stupid politicians is what every gosh darned singer
has ever sung about without a growth of original prowess
i douse you in the gasoline of my penile infection
i just don't know know
i don't know know know know
i don’t know
light the fire from your womanhood and wash, spin, repeat
ad inifinitum i don't know what the moniker is
someone slap me
i pushed the door on a little girl the other day
it was an accident
but the looks i be getting
the looks i be getting
it was just an accident

she is so beautiful
everything about her is so beautiful
			
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